Sunday, January 16, 2005
Okay. I just typed 1 whole bloody long entry, and it's all gone.But I really gotta type all this down tonight,
'cos Im gonna change my life from today onwards.
I'm gonna start doing what I say,
and I'm gonna make sure that i finish whatever I plan to achieve.
It's gonna be a steep climb up the slope of being disciplined,
but I'm gonna try.
And the reason why I decided to start making a change is due to wat u read below.
I'm glad that I remained in AIESEC till now.
Though the elections started 2 hours late, and I wasted 2 whole hours waiting for the latecomers;
Though the elections were very draggy, and there were so many procedures that we had to follow;
(eg. Taking attendance before every vote)
Though it took 5 more hours before the elections finally ended;
It was not a wasted trip after all. :)
The speeches made were so sincere, touching, heartwarming, and just basically,
inspiring.
Most of the elects were recollecting how they felt 1 year ago,
that they wanted to quit AIESEC,
'cos they didn’t know what their existence in AIESEC meant.
And then their seniors came along,
and got them doing stuff.
That's when their passion for AIESEC began snowballing.
Till they've gained so much from AIESEC,
that they feel that they shld contribute back to AIESEC,
and hence they decided to run for the posts of MCP, MC or LCP.
The speech that really struck me hard, and got me thinking about my own life was Hui Fun's.
This sentence which she said really motivated me a lot:
"As long as you have confidence in yourself, if you believe in yourself, you can achieve anything."
Anything at all…
I know many people have said that before,
but I was never moved by it.
I guess it's the way she said it,
and how sincere she was when she said it,
which made me feel that I can achieve anything too.
If I believe in myself and set my mind to it, that is.
Up till now,
I've totally lost confidence in myself in my studies.
From sec 3 onwards.
I always felt that I could never make it.
That I will never be able to get good grades like the others,
no matter how much effort I put in.
it really doesn't help when pple around u aren't encouraging.
Especially pple close to you.
I seriously do not need to know who got better than me.
and I really do not need people to keep reminding me why I did badly.
once is enough. Thank you very much.
what I need is for people to encourage me.
and I really thank those friends who constantly reassured me that I can do better,
that I just need to be more focused.
I wonder why I never listened to the matriarch's and orange's constant reminders to get my priorities right.
Perhaps I was just too caught up with all the excitement of the things going around me.
and forgetting that the main purpose that I was in school was to graduate with a good certificate.
And it is only now, when I'm almost 2 decades old, that I finally see the light.
I’m slowly beginning to set my priorities right.
Yea, it may be easy for u…
But definitely not too easy for me,
when I've not been setting any priorities correctly for the past 4 years…
hence leading to my ill-disciplined behaviour,
which seriously needs to be corrected asap.
I should really stop slacking.
and make better use of my time…
I really don't dare to count how many hours I've wasted in the whole of last semester...
Used essential time for completing tutorials and readings on watching tv.
Watching senseless shows.
Yes, I even watched that really bo liao show starring lin yi ming on Fridays at 8pm.
It’s high time I shld stop all these nonsense.
Time-management is the keyword here.
All that nonsense has led to the results which I felt was rather unsatisfactory.
Upon seeing the results,
my mind was filled with many, "If only I..."
and then I was highly motivated for a while to strive to do better next sem.
But when holidays started,
I never really got down to concrete plans in planning how I'm gonna solve this major problem of mine,
which is the lack of self-discipline and lousy time-management.
Instead, it was back to the good ol' slacking days.
and so now,
I've decided.
I'm going to start to believe in myself more.
and not be put down by what others say.
I'm gonna try my best to make things work.
I'm gonna carry out what I say,
and not be a ATNO(all talk no action) person.
I know I sound like some brainwashed person now.
But nope, I don't think so.
I've just become a very much more motivated person.
Who's just striving to become a better person.
Btw, those of u who hvn't gone to see Botero's works, u should.
At the same time, u HAVE to go check out Russell Wong's photographs too.
Just one word to describe: amazing.
still waiting at 2:24 am